As a lover and connoisseur of the lovely fermented beverage of barley, hops, and malt, I will begin writing works about the ontology and philosophy of beer entitled The Phenomenology of Beer. For my intial post in this series, I offer a critical evaluation of the Beer Institute's 2011 report on rankings of U.S. states', including D.C., beer consumption per capita. In other words the top 10 beer drinking states. I will try and elucidate possible reasons behind the high rankings. For some states that I haven't visited, i will reason on popular culture myths/stereotypes/narrative to guide my interpretation. Enjoy! Drum roll please... -SQRLZ-The Digital Ninja
Top 10 Beer States with snarky and/or critical commentary:10. Delaware (Dogfish Head Brewery is located here. The entire state must be drinking their 90-minute IPA.
9. Nebraska (I have driven through Nebraska a few times. Believe me, there isn't much to do there, but drink beer. I fear the only "beer" experience they have there is the Anheuser Busch filter of bottom-feeding corporate swill they sucker you into thinking is beer.
8. Texas (I have a feeling Austin may help this figure out since it seems to me the only hip place in the wastelands of Texas.)
7. Vermont (I knew there was a reason why I love this state besides having the true Jedi master Bernie Sanders as senator, having beautiful scenery, and awesome people.)
6. Wisconsin (Of course! I am only disappointed that it isn't #1. Go packers!)
5. Nevada (It is the oasis in the desert from spying eyes of nosy Utahns interested in calling out their neighbors for drinking. Some of the "faithful" will actually set up shop across from state liquor and write down names of their fellow members spotted going in to the state liquor stores--the only places other than the fine brewing coops in SLC where you can buy quality craft brews. They do this so they can move up in the social hierarchy known in the state as church politics. Okay no more rants about my 51st-ranked home state...back to Nevada; there is the obvious debauchery and chaos permitted in this state, which does make for more people either enjoying or self-medicating through beer consumption.)
4. South Dakota (I am guessing it is a lot like Nebraska but exponentially worse.)
3. Montana (Beautiful state with some high-quality craft brewers...Bitter Root Brewing comes to mind...There is nothing more sublime than enjoying Bitter Root's scrumptious Nut Brown Ale in Big Sky country.)
2. North Dakota (I saw Fargo...That is enough reason to batten down the hatches and enjoy winter seasonal ales, porters, or stouts.)
1. New Hampshire (Beautiful state with an insane idea of putting their liquor/beer barns next to rest areas on the highways. I guess the state motto should be "Live Free or Die with a Beer in Your Hand!"